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| for and by young people with HIV |
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feelings For a lot of people, living with HIV presents a real challenge on an emotional level due to the medications you take and the reactions you get from those around you, but most of all due to the impact it has on your life.
Everyone reacts to the diagnosis in his or her own way. Some may be overcome by emotions of anger, anxiety, shame, disbelief, sadness or guilt. Others may react in a more level-headed way: 'Okay, I've been infected, so now I'm going to have to learn to live with that.' Sometimes the news of the diagnosis doesn't even hit home.
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acceptance Most people have a really hard time accepting the diagnosis and assigning it a place in their day-to-day lives. It is important to deal with it at your own pace and to give yourself plenty of time for doing that. Learning to live with HIV is comparable to the process of grieving. You have to deal with the loss of your health and of an unimpaired body. Sometimes you even have to face the loss of work, social status or friends. After hearing that you have HIV, you might experience moments of denial or rage. You might look for a new and different meaning for your life, but you also learn to accept that you are infected. For many people, these phases alternate with and blend into each other. in the Netherlands |
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Paul, 23 years Everything runs through your head. Your life, your family, your friends, your work, your sex life, everything. You think that everything will be different from now, then you realise that you have something other people don't have and are afraid of. I saw my life turn upside down after hearing what I had. After reading up on this and meeting with other people who had a different hospital experience, I got the information I needed. This changed the way I thought about it. You then realise that your life will really change, that you must adjust. But you can certainly live with it. There's a lot more you can still d
Enjoy life to the fullest, and get all that you can get out of it. With the support of loved ones, you regain a will to live and a positive outlook. All in all, life's worth the effort. It can go on as usual.
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anxiety and depression Hearing that you have been infected, becoming aware of the consequences, knowing that you will be carrying around the disease for the rest of your life.... All this can make you anxious and depressed. Since the arrival of the medicine cocktails, the disease can be kept better under control and people with HIV can once again build a future for themselves. But that takes courage and a lot of energy. A survey that Sensoa held in 2002 showed that dealing with anxiety and depression is one of the five most important topics for people with HIV and AIDS. There are no cut-and-dried solutions. Correct and accurate information, tips and useful links can help you better diagnose and understand the situation and may even give you the impulse to move forward again.
What is depression and how do you recognise it? Could it have anything to do with the medication you are taking? Which treatments are available? You can find an answer (in Dutch) to these and other questions dealing with depression and anxiety on the Sensoa site: Sensoa.
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mourning Although the current combination therapies have made it quite possible to live with HIV, people with HIV are still dying. On rouw.nl you can read (in Dutch) more about mourning and how to deal with grief. Hiv Vereniging Nederland offers the opportunity to commemorate deceased loved ones on a special section called 'In Memoriam' on their site hivnet.org. You can place a photo of a family member or friend who has died.  |
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support In the beginning, it's very possible that you won't really want to think about the consequences of your diagnosis. You would rather just continue living your life as if nothing has changed. This is a normal reaction when you have received such bad news. Even so, it is a good idea to look for someone you can discuss it with after a while. If you want to talk about it, but you feel you would rather not - or even cannot - impose on the people closest to you, or if you feel like you are all alone with your infection, you can turn to the doctor or a nurse at the HIV Treatment Centre in the Netherlands or the AIDS Reference Centre (ARC) in Belgium where you are being monitored.
Looking for contact with other people with HIV is another option. Some, like you, have only recently heard that they are HIV positive. Others have already been living with the infection for years and have learned to give it a place in their lives. Others experience very many of the same feelings, thoughts and anxieties in the same way. Recognising this common experience can be a source of extra strength for you in coming to terms with your HIV. For contact with other people who are HIV positive, you can get in touch with Sensoa (for Flanders), Siréas (for the Walloon provinces), or the Hiv Vereniging (for the Netherlands).
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anonymous My first reaction was: 'That can't be!' Disbelief and sadness. I kept hoping it wasn't true. I didn't want to live with that. I really just wanted to die in those days, and at first I thought of suicide. In fact, I couldn't think of anything else. I was totally flabbergasted. That this had to happen to me, of all people.... |
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Cliff, 25 years Suddenly it's in your life…HIV. I had so many questions, but after a while one thing was clear: life is NOT over!!!! |
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