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when and how to tell?
Anyone who has just heard that he or she is HIV-positive, deals with the worry of it all: who to tell, where, when, how to talk about it, and where to begin. All this churns about in your head. Finally I found that it was easier for me to discuss it with work mates or friends who were not so close. Sure it might sound strange, but I found it more difficult to tell people who were closer to me, such as my parents, my brother and my best mates.
It was 3 or 4 days afterward that I first told my boss, work mates and friends. Everytime my words came out all stupid and in stutters, I could scarely explain to anyone without bursting out in sobs. When I finally got the big story out, it was an enormous relief and happily everyone was really supportive.
At the same time, after that, I came to agree with everyone, to lighten my heart over what was spinning around in my head. Everyone gave me such enormous support and help. But still, I was encouraged that it was essential that I tell my little brother and my parents. That seemed enormously difficult to me, but I really agreed with everyone. For a whole fortnight, I pondered over the idea. Many times the phone would ring, I'd pick it up and then hang up again using some lame excuse why I should not face what needed to be done.
Finally, with great effort, I phoned my mum and told her that I had something very important to tell her. I urged her to come over. The following day she came with my little brother. Tearfully I told them. They provided me with the most steadfast support. What an enormous load off my shoulders! It was so important to me that they knew. Even though I received a lot of love and support, when I look back, it was still beyond expectations, a terrible thing to tell them. They are the most important people in my life and although I now say this in hindsight, certainly I should have told them first. Then when we went to my dad, I fell in tears into his arms. How one sets about this, you always feel you had something else you wanted to do and say. But what's important is to tell your loved ones. These are the ones who will support you because they are the ones who love you.
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